Because In My Book, Every Weekend Is TV Weekend

I predict that in about 15-20 years, today's local TV will be a thing of the past. Thanks to the highly intellectual noontime shows, the countless KAPAMUSO soaps (can you hear my eyes rolling?), the internet, and the pirates of the cawebbean.

This must be one of those "signs of the times" everyone keeps talking about. Let me take a peek at the future: I see shows being cancelled... Advertisers no longer advertising on TV... Networks signing off... Hala! APOCALYPSE NOW.

I'm kidding! No, I don't think that will happen. I hope not! Or i'm out of a job. (Now I'm talking about the death of TV, not the END of days 'cos no I'm not the devil)

Admittedly, I spend almost every weekend in front of the TV, my ass glued to the couch. I've tried everything else, but I've come to the conclusion that there is no better way to spend my weekend (did I just admit that i'm boring??? forget that last statement). 

My standard opening statement every Monday when talking to my co-workers:

"Napanood mo yung (insert sunday chismis show here)? Graaaabeh!!! Naabutan mo yung interview ni (insert annoying lady host who cries all the time here) kay (insert random artista here). Intense!!!"

So, one lazy yet peaceful Sunday morning, and after about 3 hours of channel-surfing, I've decided that it is time for another blog entry. And what else should I ramble ramble about but my weekend-bestfriend, the good old T to the V.

As my own personal tribute to the boob tube, a.k.a. the TeleVizzle, the Thought Vacuum , the Idiot Box (looks like someone just paid a visit to the urban dictionary), and David Letterman (that perv)... Here are...

(Drumroll please)

The Top 10 Shows I Watch On TV Every Weekend (whether free TV or cable)

10. Friends Re-runs (ETC)

It's about 6 friends. Period. No explanation needed.

It is just so simple, so truthful, and so effortless. This is one of those hit shows that made it so big that it owned an enitre era.

Joey: Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?

Chandler: Yeah. So Tuesday? 

Joey: Thursday! Look, if you need help remembering, think of it like this: the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay? 

Chandler: Thank you.

9. Gene Simmons' Family Jewels (The Bio Channel / A&E)

Who wouldn't love those extra long Simmons tongues and rockin' vibe!

Its the Osbourne Show without the bat-eating father, the hag-looking mother, the pill popping, alcoholic spawn (s? spawnus?), and the british accent. 

This family, IMO, is 150% more likeable than the Osbournes. They look healthier, do not cuss as much, and they do not eat flying rodents in their free time.

OMG, Gene Simmons and his girlfriend (of 20 years?) had cosmetic surgery (botox and the whole shebang) on the same day?! Funnyyyyyyyyyy!

OMG, Nick Simmons (Gene Simmons' son) cried tears of joy when his parents gave him not just 1 cat, but 2 kittens! (You're giving me 2 cats! I'm so happy! Huhuhuhuhu! ='() Funnyyyyyyyyyyy!

8. The Millionaire Matchmaker (ETC / Bravo TV)

Matchmaking millionaires for a living! Now that's good business!

This is a reality show about Ms. Patti Stanger's matchmaking business. When it comes to choosing her clients, her two most important requirements are: 1) they must be rich (her services probably cost more than a leg and an arm) and 2) friendless (if they had friends they wouldn't need a matchmaker).

Love and money! Who says you can't have it both?

 




7. I Propose (ETC / The Style Network)

If you see me glued to the TV set, hiding my bawling face with tears continuously running down my cheeks... well then yes! You've caught me watching another one of my favorite lame-o reality shows (I've just realized what a reality show freak I really am... I thought I hated them?).

The show title is self-explanatory. Guy wants to pop the question but has no idea how to go about it, Guy calls the show to ask for help (because proposing while at a baseball game in front of thousands of people is too risky... what if she says no? Or worse, says yes but did not really mean it?), show helps Guy set it up in the cheesiest yet most effective way possible, Guy pops the question, Girl says "Yes!". (all together now... awwwwwww! tear!)

I don't think I have ever watched an episode of this show and not cry. Well, whaddyaknow? I guess this means I am definitely a girl.

Actually, I don't see this show anymore. I was such a (closet) fan that I memorized its airing schedule. I think ETC cancelled it (we don't have The Style Network).

Note to ETC, from one overly loyal and devoted (closet) fan: Parang awa niyo na... ibalik niyo na yung I Propose. Peborit ko yan eh!

6. The Ellen Degeneres Show (ETC 2nd Avenue / Warner Bros.)

For her generosity, we shall now re-baptize her Ellen "The Generous". 

I would love love love to be a guest on this show just to play the gold-digger game. Or the sumo-wrestler... or even the marshmallow on a string game. Who cares if I make a fool out of myself? Hello... big bucks! Instant stardom!

I especially love the gold-digger game, because who wouldn't go crazy with a phone call from Ellen Degeneres? Plus she gives you a chance to win tons of money.

Kudos to Ellen Degeneres and her enormously successful show! Here's hoping her star continues to shine for many, many years. It's really great how some people truly make it part of their jobs to give back to the world. 

Here's a video I grabbed from youtube... watch it and be ellen-ified!

 

5. TMZ (HBO, JackTV, ETC)

Seriously, who doesn't love TMZ? Even some celebrities admit they're addicted to the show. But yes, sometimes i do feel bad for them especially on days they're caught not looking their best, or in a totally embarrassing situation (see video below). 

But then, it's part of the job, Brad Pitt!

4. Trust Me (ETC 2nd Ave.)

The crazy life of working in an advertising agency. 

Well, to quote one of this show's reviews, "I want to like this show, I really do!".

My sentiments exactly. I am very interested in this show 'cos I work in the industry and it's interesting to see your "life" dramatized in some way (I wonder if real doctors watch "Grey's Anatomy?"). But weekend after weekend, 10 minutes into Eric Mccormack's (who plays the newly-promoted creative director) and Thomas Cavanaugh's (art director) work predicament and I find myself holding my eyelids up with my fingers. (snore!)

For Christ's sake, the show is supposed to be about creativity, why is it not creative? (note to the writers, sometimes it's not about the story... it's about the storytelling! yikes ang feeling ko)

(now it's interesting why I included this show in my top 10 list... the truth is I've ran out of shows to and this is one of those shows I "try" to watch)

3. Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien (JackTV, NBC)

I've always, always been a Conan fan. Even on his Late Night days. His is the type of dark humor that almost makes me say "Oh no, he didn't!" but instead just makes me guffaw (note, not just laugh, GUFFAW).

No offense to Leno fans, but IMO, the Tonight Show is now about 100 times better with Conan behind the desk.

In "Late Night...", Conan used to bring out this lever he called "The Walker Texas Ranger Lever". This was after NBC bought out Universal Studios which then allowed Conan to show clips from shows owned by Universal anytime without paying them so much as a penny... thus, the Walker clips. Oh man... I'm laughing in the inside just thinking about it! Never thought something so stupid could be so AWESOME at the same time. 

I hope they bring back that lever and use it on the tonight show! I miss yelling, "PULL THAT LEVER!!! PULL THAT FREAKIN' LEVER!!!".

Watch the video for a "Walker Texas Ranger Lever" Mashup

2. Project Runway Philippines Season 2 (ETC)

Hi, my name is Elizabeth... and I am a Project Runway addict.
I love the original US version (with the cute cute Heidi Klum's Auf Viedersen) and have been following the show season after season.
The Filipino version, well... I regularly watch it too. Yes it is still totally addictive, especially the friendly "okrayan" between contestants. (I think now there are only 4 of them left)
HOWEVER, (look... I'm just being my overly cynical self here) there are a few things I have noticed about the show. These are the following:
THAT ANNOYINGLY "QUIRKY" SMALL GIRL CONTESTANT. - Only a few people can pull off the "quirky but cute" image. Sadly and honestly, my dear, you seem to fail so miserably at it (I just woke up so I am a little bitchy). One other thing, haven't we seen this character in season 1?

The one on top is Ava from Season 1 (successfully mismatching pieces is a skill and clearly not everyone has it). The one at the bottom is Tracy from Season 2. See what I mean?

THE WANNABE-HEIDI KLUM HOST - I'm sorry to those who love Tessa Herrera... I mean I think she's okay, until she started walking and talking like Heidi Klum.
If Heidi Klum says "Auf Viedersen" to every eliminated contestant at the end of each show...
Tessa Herrera says "Ingat!" or "Bye, baby!" (does she really need a Heidi Klum catchphrase?)
In the end of the opening credits, if Heidi Klum poses with her hands on her hips...
Tessa Herrera does the exact same pose in the opening credits of our local Project Runway.

It's bad enough that they got another mestiza foreign-looking lady (who speaks with an accent you can't quite place) to host the show, but does she really need to host it exactly like Heidi Klum??? I mean I'm starting to despise the lady, but then I realized it could be the producers who are ordering her to act like that.
Filipino people, we are a talented and excellent group! Be original!

On a positive note, I like the contestants Cherry and Russell. I think both of them will be in the final three.


1. The Buzz (ABS-CBN)

Read: CHISMIS
Honestly, the weekend feels so incomplete without my favorite local Sunday chismis talk show. If I miss this show on Sunday, expect me to have the Monday blues.

As much as I hate to admit this, it is the Kris Aquino-Boy Abunda tandem that makes this show as successful as it is. Boy is okay, but Kris is another story... as they say, you either LOVE or HATE this hee-hawing lady... there is nothing in between.
I don't think I have to explain much. "Do not explain, your friends do not need it, and your enemies will never believe you anyway."
So that's it! End of story.


(It took me three weeks to finish this blog post. See how commited I am to the subject? LONG LIVE TV! Yee-haw!)